For the longest time, the fact that I was a queer man just did not matter to me. Not even in the way that it was not a big deal in the world, but merely the fact that it was never something that I talked about. I think that as far as I knew I never really had a preference when it came to gender, and it was only later that I found out that it wasn’t normal, and that there was a name for it. But even when I knew these things, it was always something I just wasnât supposed to talk about. Growing up in a strict Christian household, I sometimes wondered if my queerness was never mentioned simply because it was something that was supposedly âforbiddenâ. My parents make it seem as though it wasnât something I ever shared, and for the longest time, I just assumed that would stay the same. My friends knew, but even then it wasnât really something I would just share with people, really out of that fear that it was a âforbiddenâ thing. But all of that sort of changed in the last few years.Â
I donât think Iâve ever really considered the option of being open about that part of my life with people that haven’t known me for a while. But during college and sort of living on my own, it just didnât really seem like something that I needed to hide anymore. And for some reason, that feels really weird. I think that as time is going on, the idea of queerness is getting more and more normal to everyone. Although it is very slow, I just never thought it would be something I would experience in my life, especially living in a southern place that was generally homophobic. I think that being around people my age in new places has shown me that things are changing. Maybe theyâve already changed, but it is nice to see that in a world that used to think that being queer was a mental illness, more and more people are respectful to the identities and attractions of other people.
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